Azure Sky
by The Hero Within
Summary: As the crowd ebbs away only one figure remains. The damned pink hair that seems to be the only provision of solace from the heartbreak and insanity that fills my skull. You were the reason, and you were the danger.
1. Chapter 1

CH. 1

"Don't want, to have you hanging, around me like a leech"

"I think you're just a problem"

"so stay the hell away from me, because I don't believe in you"

"And I wanna sit here all my life alone"

"this may sound a little rough"

"Don't wanna fall in love"

The drums and bass smashed through me, the guitar shredded my arteries and filled my chest, I felt my throat going hoarse as I belted out the lyrics. I felt

absolute, I felt glorious. Every eye in the building was on us. Each breath exhaled as a cheer or a scream, was offered to us like a sacrifice to an ancient god. I

knew that after the show, all this would stop, I would go back to being alone and scared. I would yell and scream and act as stupid as possible so people would

know I existed. I would try to keep this moment alive, although I knew at some point it would end. The world is watching me right now, this is my drug. And

by god am I addicted.

"Don't need security, I ain't no dog without a bone"

"don't ask, no time for love"

"So stay the fuck away from me, because I don't believe in you"

"and I wanna sit here all my life alone"

"this may sound a little rough"

"don't wanna fall in love"

I felt all of time stop, I knew that i was a god for a minute on that stage. In the middle of hick heaven, thats a pretty big deal. I felt the end coming, I knew it

was unavoidable yet I tried to keep it alive. The song felt real and I didn't want it to leave. I shared a quick glance with the crowd, I almost always avoided eye

contact when I performed, but this time I felt the need to make some sort of connection. From what I saw they were eating it right out of my hands.

Everybody in the crowd was absolutely in love with me. It felt like I was stealing a part of them and slowly making it my own.

" This may sound a little rough, don't wanna fall in love"

"This may sound a little rough, don't wanna fall in love"

"This may sound a little fucked, don't wanna fall in love"

It was finally over, I felt the adrenaline slowly ebb away. The crowd gave us a round of thunderous applause and slowly eked out of the building, like blood from

a wound already healed. "Thank you, we're Social Suicide and we'll see you next time!" I gave a final exclamation, the response was half-hearted woos and

simple yelling of confirmation. It was always this way. As I packed up, I received small slaps on the back from different members of the band or little

compliments, congratulating me on the performance. I gave small grunts back, I was already feeling sick after coming down from my high. After I finished

packing up I threw everything in the bed of my truck and zipped home. It was a quiet ride, the radio on at a dull roar. I never felt good after a show, only

during. Like everything was less beautiful after the show. I pulled up outside of my simple apartment and threw everything into the hall that separated my

room from the living room. I should have been partying with the rest of the members, but I never did. I think most of them were starting to get sick of me

anyways. I sat down and just simply thought about the show that night. That usually helped cheer me up, especially when we had the kind of show we had

tonight. I knew I would feel better tomorrow, I always did. Now this is the problem with my life. Everything is on schedule, I never feel good till the morning, I

never go to bed till midnight, I never socialize with the only people that would accept me. It's quite the bitch. Fortunately I stopped caring long ago. As I

dragged myself from the couch that I had thrown my limp form over, I thought of tomorrow and everything that would have to be done. Namely nothing.

Laying down and throwing the covers over me I attempted to fall asleep. By the graces of whoever, I was able to sleep soundly through the night.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

After waking from a rather delightful sleep, I dragged my sleep lagged body to the kitchen for the delightful gift from the heavens only known as

coffee. After throwing the pot on the warmer, i was interrupted from my morning schedule by a phone call. Answering the phone I was

surprised that the call was actually from one of my fellow band members. "What?" my response to his call was quite eloquent if I do say so

myself. " Geez, man don't sound so excited." He seemed abnormally chipper. "Sorry, I just woke up." I felt pretty bad "So what is it?" He

continued "Okay dude, we are having an after party today, you interested?" my answer was quick "not really." He was unfortunately very

persistent. "Oh, come on. You never do anything with us, it will be a good time." I honestly didn't want to hear it any more, and I knew there

was only one way to shut him up. I let out a sigh "fine, i'll go already, christ this better be fun." "Dude, don't worry it will be!" He hung up

quickly, probably to spread the news that I would be leaving my hole to socialize for once. I recieved a text moments later telling me the

address and the time. 7:00 at the drummers house. Huh, that sounds like a pretty good song title, have to keep that in mind. I looked at the

clock and noticed that it was already two, i've never slept that late before. So naturally, I went back to sleep. When I awoke it was around five

and I decided to get ready for what most likely will be the most riveting evening in my life. Not likely. A black button down, sleeves rolled, hair a

mess, and the top two buttons undone. Yeah I was looking good; hey if you're gonna go, you go all out. A hop in the truck and another quick

ride and I was already there. A little early, but i'm only here to see the band so whatever. One-knock, two-knocks, and the door opens. "Dude!"

An enthusiastic greeting from the drummer and I was quickly pulled inside. Before me was about fifty to one hundred of the drunkest twenty

somethings I had ever seen in my life. "I thought you said it was at seven!?" I had to yell over the boom of music "We knew that you would

show up early, so we kinda fibbed on the time!" he seemed pleased with himself "You guys are dicks!" I exclaimed. His response was a toothy

grin, and as quickly as he had appeared he was swept up into a tide of people and taken away from me. I fought my way through the drunkards

that had filled the cramped two-bedroom house, and took a seat at the holy grail of parties, the couch. After finally regaining my bearings and

taking a look around the room, I deduced that I knew none of these people. I wasn't surprised, I rarely left my apartment. The only time I did

leave was for supply runs to the grocery store and to prepare for shows. I never really understood why I didn't feel the need to socialize, I just

never really cared. I don't think it's unhealthy, but I also don't think it's right. I digress, the party rolled on and I felt my ass starting to fall

asleep so I decided to finally move around and talk to people. Shocking. After a few conversations and a few confrontations with the local

douchebag populace, I remembered why I hate people. Still doesn't explain the socialization problems. The way I see it, you can socialize even

though you hate people, you can be polite and still think in your head "god someone snip this dudes nuts and stop him from breeding" but for

some reason, I on the other hand just say the aforementioned nut snipping policy out loud and i'm suddenly the weirdo. To hell with it though,

people suck, I suck, it's just one big suck fest; that sounded better in my head. Anywho, I finally sat back down as was my natural habitat, and

I never noticed the person next to me. "Fun night, huh?" voice tinkling like silver. I gave a quick snort "Right, as fun as stapling my nuts to my

leg." that got a quick laugh out of the figure next to me. I looked over and my eyes widened. "Pink..." I couldn't help but let it leak out of my

mouth. She stared at me, eyes full of innocent curiosity. "What about pink?" she questioned, voice filled with humor. "Nothing, it's just...

different." The girl next to me was probably the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. She was average height and average build with

some, ahem, assets that were very impressive. She had a rounded face and high cheekbones which created probably the cutest thing ever

when she smiled. But the most shocking and interesting feature of the girl in question was her hair, not that it was odd in anyway just that it

was, well, pink. She continued to stare at me with those jade eyes. " Can I help you with something?" she asked. Thats when I realised that I

had been staring for awhile. I quickly cleared my throat, responding " Yeah, I was wondering what your name was?" She stared at me for a

moment before lightly giggling and responding in an almost mocking tone "Well, maybe you'll find out later." I was taken aback by this, finally a

girl with a little spunk to her. "Yeah, well maybe you'll find mine out too." I replied with a smirk. She just laughed at me "Who said I even

wanted to learn your name?" damn, she's good. "Well, if I can't get your name can you at least tell me about yourself?" I hoped I could finally

get somewhere, she actually had some sort of spark to her compared to most other women. "Well, there's not much to say. I like music and

reading, I go shopping and hang out with my friends; like all the other girls." music huh, I could work with that. "Yeah but you're not drooling

over dudes or insanely drunk like other girls." she smiled at me, like I was a toddler that just said their first word. "Yes but that's because I

don't drink and most of the guys here bore me." I sniggered abit. "Well do I bore you?" her response was quick "Well if you did, I wouldn't be

talking to you." yeah, I liked her already, she was pretty cool. "Well, tell me about yourself." she said. I thought for a moment, "Well, I hate

almost everyone and everything, but I'm able to mask that with a thin veil of sarcasm. I also sing in a band with members that like to trick me

into parties I don't care about, while I simultaneously live in a crappy apartment alone since my parents are god knows where." i took a deep

breath and continued on "I also work in a soul crushing school, where I make just enough to maintain my shitty apartment and buy my band

equipment. So that's it." I don't know why I felt the need to tell her all of this, but I just felt comfortable near her; like I could tell her anything

and she would just smile and listen. No interrupting or speaking, just listening. "So, you're an asshole basically?" my face fell after that "Yeah,

basically." I said in a defeated tone "Well, at least assholes are interesting to talk to." My spirits rose back up after her remark. I stared,

gobsmacked at her, this girl just kept surprising me. "What's the name of your band?" well hello sudden change of subject "Social Suicide" I

replied "What kind of music do you play?" now this was something I loved to talk about "Punk, pop punk, ska, alternative, really anything that

we think doesn't suck." she thought for a moment before she spoke again "When's your next show?" "Next saturday." it fell out of my mouth

before I had time to think about it, problem was that I didn't have a show, shit. "Well here's my number, give me a call where it is, okay?" yet

again I was stunned into silence as she walked away. Did I just get a girls number without even trying. Awesome. I fought my way out of the

house hollering a quick goodbye to the band and making my way to my truck. As I drove back home all I could think about was that strange

girl. Who was she, where is she from, why is she interested in me? I wasn't complaining. Although now I have to slap together a show at the

last minute, god this is gonna be a bitch. As I returned home I was too tired to even undress for bed as I flopped on the covers and quickly fell

asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3

"Shit." waking up out of the daze from last night, I could barely move, let alone think. "God, I am never staying up late again." The feeling of

hammers, pounding away at my head could scarcely describe the headache I was suffering from. I barely even drank anything,whelp thems the

breaks. After dragging myself through a shower, breakfast, and clothing I felt absolutely prepared to take on the day. Like most people, I think

that mornings and school are a pretty shit combination. Yet the main problem is that I'm twenty something years old, and I have to teach at

these damned prisons. Most wouldn't mind, "it's your job", "it's fine", well those people can go fuck themselves. I get up at maybe five o'clock

every morning, drag myself through a half-hour of traffic, speak to my shitty co-workers, then I have to try and communicate with a bunch of

shits that are only a couple of years younger than me, when most of them don't even care. Damnit. It's even worse that i'm a teachers trainee.

I'm still trying to get my teaching license and I already hate these damn kids. And don't even get me started on the pay. Maybe I should have

joined the navy or something. Anyways, I teach history in high school #324, because i'm serious, all these schools look exactly the same. So

after a drive to the school, I opened the door to instantly be lost to the crowd of students. These children obviously know nothing of order or

control. After kicking, punching, and biting my way through the halls, I was finally able to make my way to the teachers lounge. Plopping down

into a seat and indulging myself in the heavenly currency that is coffee, I swear i'm addicted to the shit, I spoke to the main teacher of the

class that I, defiantly, helped at. The teacher was a short man with an abnormally long nose, yeah there's no joke there, that's just awesome.

"So, how was the weekend?" he asked trying to stir up a conversation "Deplorable." I was still tired, don't expect Shakespeare this early. "You

children need to go easy on yourselves, soon you'll be my age and there will be no saving you." I sniggered before I made my remark "Look

teach, I don't think anyone could be as old as you." his response was quick "True, but that doesn't detract from the point." as I refilled my third

or fourth cup of coffee the first hour class bell rang. "Well to the feeding frenzy we go." the teacher laughed "yes, quite." As we reached the

classroom the teacher told me that I would be taking over for the class today. Great, now I can get this over with. Walking into the classroom, I

already felt faint. The kids were already dicking around and I couldn't stand it. The teach was able to settle down the children enough to make

the announcement that I would be leading the class today. "Well kids, today we will be talking about Joan of Arc. Please open your textbooks to

page 185." The kids flipped open their textbooks and stared at me blankly. "Well, I had a lesson plan, but forget it. You guys want to be treated

like adults, right?" I saw confused faces and slow nods "Well good, cause i'm going to teach you like adults." the teach stared silently, no inkling

of judgment, joy, or anger on his face. Just a blank expression. "Joan of Arc was crazy, she believed that god had told her to lead the french in

the hundred years war." I continued "After god had commanded her to lead the french, she went to the king to tell him of her vision, now after

speaking to the king, most of the palace wanted to have her declared bat-shit insane." that got a few laughs out of the class "But not because

she was speaking to voices in her head, but because she was a woman." "A woman leading the troops, egads" the class was way freaked out

but I didn't care I was on a roll now. "But the king thought "Man this is radical" and let her lead their armies to battle." after taking a breath I

continued "After winning a few battles she was, shocker, captured by the Burgundians and sold to the English. She was tried and burned at the

stake for heresy." I looked around "Now are their any questions?" a kid timidly raised his hand "Yes, you." he spoke slowly "So, why exactly did

the king let her lead?" my response was quick "Well to my understanding, the french were getting stomped so hard he saw no harm in letting

her lead." I scanned the class again "Well, anyone else?" nobody raised their hands. "Good, your homework for today is to write, film, or draw

some sort of reinterpretation of Joan of Arc, It can be whatever you want." As the class slowly got to work, I sat down and relaxed. The teach

began talking to me. "So how did it feel?" I thought about it "It felt good" he stared at me for awhile "You're dismissed, go ahead and take the

day off." I nodded my head and slowly walked out of the class. I didn't really know why I had blown up back there. I think that maybe I had

finally just had enough of children taking advantage of me. Maybe I was just letting off some steam. Who knows? I decided to walk around a bit

before I drove home. As I walk I passed by The Garage. The Garage is a popular venue for bands, it's where Social Suicide got its start. I walked

in.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch. 4

It still looked the same. It still smelled the same. It still sounded the same. It was home. Home for me and all other kinds of wayward kids. The interior of The Garage resembled an old brick building that had been demolished, rebuilt, demolished again, then finally just repainted, The bricks that made up the four walls where a bright orange color, on the walls where rusty signs, old car parts, screws and rivets, and whatever other crap the boss could throw on the walls. The floor was black marble, which couldn't have been cheap, and a small oval section made of wood that was elevated and placed in the center of the floor. The main stage. The dreams and aspirations of many were held under a spotlight there, and countless more were crushed. This place had started as a serious concert venue but, slowly deteriorated to nothing more than a tourist spot and a cheap place to rent out little Abigail's sweet sixteen. It was owned by some guy everyone called Boss. Nobody knows his name and nobody's ever asked. Why he started this place and why he hasn't closed it down, well it's a mystery to pretty much everybody. "Hey, didn't you see the sign?" ahh the velvety sounds of nails on a chalkboard "Were closed." That's the boss. Harsh voice, harsh man. "Yeah, but I thought I could pay a visit to my favorite concert provider extraordinaire." He looked at me for a moment before recognition sparked in his eyes "What are you doing here?" he didn't sound happy "You have a lot of fuckin nerve strolling in here like nothing happened!" he wasn't happy, I tried to diffuse the situation "Woah, look I just wanted to expand my horizons, what did I do so wrong?" his face turned three shades of red before he charged up to me, grabbing my collar and pulling me up close to his face "What did you do! What didn't you do!?" I was starting to get nervous, the situation was getting out of hand very quickly "After you left no one wanted to play here anymore, because of you I have been reduced to nothing more than a tourist trap! Do you have any idea what that's like!?" He breathed heavily before finally loosening his grip. I took a deep breath "Look, i'm sorry, you're right, you are one hundred percent right." It was hard keeping eye contact "I didn't know what it would do to you, I thought if I left that others would take Social Suicide's place. I never meant for any of this." I couldn't keep looking at him anymore, so I dropped my gaze to the floor and waited. After a long while of silence he finally spoke. "I know you never meant any harm, but you gotta start thinking with you head." I looked up "You were the heart and soul of this place, you need to put more stock in your abilities." he was right, I don't think I'm going to start tooting my own horn for awhile now but he was right "Look" I replied "how about I repay that debt now?" his glance hurt, I tried to act as stand-offish as possible "What you don't want my help anymore?" he finally caved "Now, I never said that, so what do you have in mind?" the gears were slowly turning in his head, this was my chance to reel him in "How about a Homecoming show right here in The Garage?" He seemed skeptical, lines of thought creased his forehead "Think about it, Social Suicide, this city's favorite sons, return to their roots for one night only, people would be lining up down the block." he thought for a long time before responding "I don't know kid, I have no doubt people would come, but how do we keep them coming back if it's only one night?" I gave a small chuckle before grinning "After the show we put on, people will be coming for a millenium to play where we once stood." those lines returned to his forehead, they were really starting to bother me. That many wrinkles at his age couldn't have been healthy. My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden shriek of laughter "Haha, alright kid you got yourself a deal." I smiled a genuine smile for the first time in a long time, man those muscles really needed the workout. That's the thing about real smiles, they use your entire face; your eyes scrunch up and your forehead expands, it's quite the hassle. "I am going to need a couple of supplies." this time he smiled "No problem, whatever you want, you got." I gave him my phone number before responding "I'll hit you up with what we need later." he was already getting to work before I had even finished "Got it kid, you go do what you need to; I'm going to hit up a couple of my old promoter buddies and get this ball rolling. This is going to be huge kid, huge!" I tossed him a quick wave and called up my band mates as I walked back home, telling them to meet me there. There was to be an immediate emergency meeting of Social Suicide parliament. It was going to be a doozy.

After everyone had made themselves comfortable in the living room, or as comfortable as you could be in an apartment for one, the meeting began. "So what in the hell of it are we doing here." I took a deep breath "Is everyone free saturday?" they all looked at me with a hint of suspicion in their eyes "Way to dance around the question." I shot daggers at the drummer "Well" I replied "Are you free or not?" they all nodded apprehensively "Good" I said. I sighed, this was going to take a lot of shilling. "Because we have a show that night." carefully enunciating every word, trying to make it more appealing. "What!" they didn't seem to pleased with the information being given. "But we just had a show!" time to explain "Look, I talked to the boss at the Garage, I agree to a comeback show to help boost morale there." I waited for a moment to examine their expressions, it was a mixture of anger and sympathy. It was the drummer that was the first to respond "Look, we are all sorry for how the boss is faring, but we already have a show scheduled in two weeks we can't just throw this one out there." I jumped on it quickly, cutting him off before he could say anymore "But it won't be thrown out there, the boss is already handling the set-up, the materials, the promotion, everything. All we have to do is play, and I know we can do that." he looked down before looking me in the eye "We sure can play." he looked towards everyone before making his final response "Alright, we'll do it." I jumped on top of the whole band in what could technically be called a hug and in other words assault "You guys are fucking awesome, this is going to be our greatest show yet!" Soon the feeling would be back, that elation, the joy, the feeling of being truly alive. And the chance to see her, I won't miss a fuckin thing.


	5. Chapter 5

CH. 5

We took a five minute reprieve after the first couple of songs and were gearing up for the finale. I was a little nervous about this show, so far everything had

been going as planned but she still hadn't shown up. Maybe she didn't care, maybe she decided "fuck this guy" and just didn't show. I mean it's not hard to

miss her, for god's sake her hair is bright fuckin pink, I would have to be fuckin blind to miss that fuckin hair in this bright fuckin venue. Fuck. In good news

the show was being just as spectacular as I had planned, pyrotechnics, crazy lighting, stage gimmicks out the wazoo; this bitch was crazy. The boss was

definitely happy. He kept slapping me on the back yelling about how awesome I was for this and running back to his office to double check that the pile o' cash

that he had laying there was still real. When he said he was going to promote, he wasn't kidding. I don't know how many billboards, posters, and callers I saw

just on my way here. The show sold out almost five hours after it was announced, and the boss had seemed to almost double his money just on the tickets

alone, not including merch, drinks, and "VIP" access. Now when I say VIP in quotations, it's for good reason. VIP access is just a hole in the roof that the boss

had built a railing around, the hole came from an old skylight that use to be there, but has long since been removed. It did provide an excellent top down view

of the band, so whatever floats some moronic kids boat, I guess. We had decided on a two song finale. The first song was going to be fast paced but still tame

enough to just build up to the last song, where we were going to play our best song and our most well known song. We still had plenty of fireworks left over

but after the finale there was going to be an immediate shortage of fireworks in the immediate area. This was always the most nerve wracking time of the

show, the beginning of the show, while painful, was manageable. You were allowed one or two fuck ups because people knew it was the beginning, they

expected a fuck up. This was the finale though, no fuck ups, no do-overs, nada. If you mess up you're done. Most people would think that you would have

calmed down at this point in your career, and I say to them "what career?" Yeah, I have a huge following in this city, but that's it. If I fuck up here good bye

national recognition. I know I should only be in it for the music, which most of me is, but another part still wants to be big and famous, that childhood dream

of being a rockstar always stayed with me. I think that's why i've always had a problem getting close to people, I put my dreams and goals ahead of me and

shut everyone else out. Maybe it's childish holding on to all of these old dreams, but it's the only thing that makes me truly happy. So doesn't that at least

justify my actions in the slightest way. I was zoned out for the longest time before my guitarist snapped me out of my minds own machinations. "Hey, it's

almost time, you okay." he seemed concerned, what if he stopped the show? What if he stopped it before she got here? That can't happen it won't happen, I

have to know why she does this to me, I have to confront her. I jumped on him "Yeah i'm fine, can't a guy just sit and fuckin think for a minute? Christ." he

backed away appalled, maybe I was a bit too quick to judge there, but fuck em, I need this show. "Sorry for asking, shit." the last part was mumbled under his

breath, he was definitely angry with me. Shit, now this is going to hang over me for hours. I prepared myself for the finale, I felt ready but, something still felt

like it was hanging over me. An impending sense of failure constantly holding over me, but whatever, its probably fine. Bad things only happen to fools and

those who think they're fools. Walking back on stage we were met with a cavalcade of cheers. Taking my place on the mic, I signaled for the drummers count.

It finally began with a quick drum beat and guitar riff, to most it was simple but to me it was heavenly.

"He spent eighteen years livin life to the brim"

"He fought harder than men two times as strong"

"I don't think there was a day, where I saw him complain"

"Something higher come and help me carry on"

Again. Again I feel new, alive. No man could knock me from my perch, no god could hope to bring me down. Yet again the guitar blasted me to pieces and the drums recreated my heart beat, the bass was the snake against my spine.

"He was more than a friend to all of us"

"His selflessness was why he held on for so long"

"If i'm half the man, that he was"

"I'd be a man worth, watching carry on"

I don't know why I was even worried about some girl, when this was my utopia. My kingdom, with my loyal subjects. The world could burn, ashes could rain down, and life itself could end but I would be none the wiser. Fuck her, fuck all of them, they could never measure to the elation I feel now.

"And I won't be fine but thanks for askin"

"My heart is heavier than your lead"

"It don't feel right trading a dollar for a dime"

"Lord above why do you leave us all for dead"

But thats when I saw it. That hair. That fuckin hair in this fuckin venue with these fuckin people. Every hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think. God why now, why in the middle of a show. Why do I always have to look out at the crowd at least once. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!

"He spent eighteen years living life to the utmost"

"Shifted my entire paradigm"

"Not a minute goes by, where I don't think of all those days"

"In that short lived eighteen years careening by"

I stumbled over the entire last verse, of course it had to be in the middle of a song. She couldn't have shown up at the end of the song or, I don't know, on time! The guitarist was shooting me worried looks, I nodded towards, her, and he nodded back showing that he understood the situation. He started to improvise guitar riffs and tricks during the solo to distract the crowd away from the last verse and towards him. Thankfully the crowd was lost in there own drunken stupor to notice the hack job I just pulled. I had to calm down, this is what you wanted, you wanted her here. You need her to see this.

"And I won't be fine but thanks for askin"

"My heart is heavier than your lead"

"It don't seem right, tradin a dollar for a dime"

"Lord above why do you leave us all for dead"

"Lord above why do you leave us all for dead"

I took a moment to gasp for air. I finished, I finally finished. Now I can fully concentrate on the final song. I took another quick peek at the audience, seeing her looking at me. I smiled and waved but she didn't wave back, she seemed more angry than anything. Probably angry at herself because she was late. I walked to the back, quickly wheeling out the only instrument that I could fully play. The large, beautiful, solid oak, grand piano. The crowd knew what this meant. The cheers became screams and my elation soared.I began to play, one note at a time. A simple note repeated, yet in the absolute quiet of The Garage, it felt powerful.

"When there's nowhere else to run"

"Is there room for one more son"

"one more son"

"If you can't hold on, if you can't hold on"

"Hold on"

The band began to play, swelling in volume and magnitude. I didn't think or feel I just played. This beautiful tune.

"I wanna stand up, I wanna let go"

"You know, you know - no you don't, you don't"

"I wanna shine on in the hearts of men"

"I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand"

"Another head aches, another heart breaks"

"I am so much older than I can take"

"And my affection, well it comes and goes"

"I need direction to perfection, no no no no"

"Help me out"

"Yeah, you know you gotta help me out"

"Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner"

"You know you gotta help me out "

"And when there's nowhere else to run"

"Is there room for one more son"

"These changes ain't changing me"

"The cold-hearted boy I used to be"

"Yeah, you know you gotta help me out"

"Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner"

"You know you gotta help me out"

"You're gonna bring yourself down"

"Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down"

"Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down"

The music slowed to a crawl, yet again, I felt the feeling. This feeling, this feeling, I...I can't feel it. Nothing, absolute nothing. It surrounded me, filled me. I couldn't breathe or think or feel. Why couldn't I feel it. Maybe I'm over reacting. If I finish the song I know I can feel again. I have to feel...this. I need to feel alive.

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

"Yeah, you know you gotta help me out"

"Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner"

"You know you gotta help me out"

"You're gonna bring yourself down"

"You're gonna bring yourself down"

"Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner"

"Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down"

"Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down"

"Over and again, last call for sin"

"While everyone's lost, the battle is won"

"With all these things that I've done"

"All these things that I've done"

"(Time, truth, hearts)"

"If you can hold on"

"If you can hold on"

As the song ended and the crowd erupted into applause, only one thing rang through my head. Why, why, why, why, why, why. Why don't I feel anything.


End file.
